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Farhad and Fariba: A journey of love, loss, and resilience - the story of a couple's quest for home and family

All of the cats living inside the temporary reception center in Ušivak, near Sarajevo, are gathered in front of their container, nestled on chairs. When the door is about to be opened from inside, the cats eagerly approach, knowing it's time to be fed and pampered. These cats have made the center Fariba and Farhad's home and dutifully guard their human companions' entrances. 

© Majda Balić/IOM Bosnia and Herzegovina, 2024

Though it may not be a traditional home, the cats are content with the simple, white humanitarian container simplicity of the reception center. The atmosphere of home is important to them, and they cannot be fooled by imitations. This is why Farhad and Fariba, a married couple from Iran, have managed to bring a sense of home with them during their seven-year journey away from their home country: they were forced to leave Iran due to threats and danger that arose after they converted to Christianity. In Iran, Farhad was a skilled craftsman who made musical instruments and chandeliers, while Fariba worked as a laboratory technician. Farhad's love for classical Persian music often leads him to sing for those around him.

"We left Iran with only each other, and we've been keeping each other safe through thick and thin. That bond is our home, no one can take it away from us," they say with smiles as they set up chairs and a makeshift table outside their container. They warmly invite everyone to join them for tea, offering dates and biscuits to their guests. Farhad's kind heart reaches out to all, as he welcomes both the center's residents and employees. The couple's migration journey has been long and difficult, and they have yet to reach their destination. After leaving Iran, they spent six years in Serbia, where they attempted multiple times, but in vain, to cross the border into the European Union (EU).  

"My mother was still alive when we left Iran, but she passed away a few months after we left," Fariba says with tears in her eyes as she recalls the memories of her life before embarking on this unknown journey with her husband, son, daughter-in-law, and young grandson. When the family had spent most of their money attempting to cross the border, leaving only enough for one family unit, they faced a tough decision. They made the difficult choice to send their son, daughter-in-law, and grandson to the EU, in hopes of a better life. The family now looks forward to the day when they can be reunited and live together again. 

© Majda Balić/IOM Bosnia and Herzegovina, 2024

"It felt like a part of me was still in Iran, and my body was mutilated. My soul is still there to this day. But even though we currently live in this container, it's our whole life and home. We're comfortable, at peace, and safe. Without peace, nothing else matters," Farhad reflects. 

For the time being, the couple's world revolves around their son, daughter-in-law, and grandson, who are currently living in Belgium. They are their first thought in the morning and their last thought at night. Through video calls on their cell phones, they stay connected and pray for each other's well-being. But after six months in Bosnia and Herzegovina, they are running out of strength. This pales in comparison to the 6 and a half years they spent in reception centers in Serbia. 

"There are two types of migration. One is when you leave your home willingly, in search of a better life and standard of living. The other is when, due to pressure and danger in your home country, you are forced to leave. I spent 6 years in Serbia, and it may sound like a short time, but it felt like an eternity," Farhad states. "Now, we are struggling to find the strength, both mentally and physically, to carry on," Fariba shares. She aches for her grandson, who is excelling in school and integrating into Belgian society. 

© Majda Balić/IOM Bosnia and Herzegovina, 2024

The most recent attempt to cross the border with the EU was not only unsuccessful but also proved to be almost fatal for Fariba. As an asthmatic and diabetic in her older years, she relies on her courage, bravery, and strong desire to see her grandson to compensate for her health conditions. However, attempting to cross the border repeatedly has become increasingly risky, expensive, and physically demanding. Their last attempt was unsuccessful, but they were just grateful to make it back alive. 

"We either go together or not at all," Farhad says as he embraces Fariba. They have been happily married for 40 years and have supported each other through thick and thin. "She was my rock during my recovery after being wounded in the Iraq-Iran War. I was left disabled and with severe PTSD, and she gave me the strength to carry on. Now, I will carry her, as our greatest wish is to see our son, daughter-in-law, and grandson thrive," Farhad states as Fariba shows a sweater she knitted for her grandson's toy before they parted.

© Majda Balić/IOM Bosnia and Herzegovina, 2024

The couple's resilience and determination to reach their loved ones is a reminder of the struggles and sacrifices that many migrants endure. Support, assistance, and access to mental health services are crucial along the way, as migration journeys are often long and dangerous. The story of Farhad and Fariba serves as a testament to the strength of love, family, and the human spirit, even in the face of adversity. Their journey also highlights the need for more compassionate and effective solutions to assist migrants and ensure their safety and well-being.